


the fall as nothing more than an expanded tumblr textpost

by petalprose



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon, Pre-Fall (Good Omens), fun with names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25974160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petalprose/pseuds/petalprose
Summary: “Uncreative-namer-of-chargesiel!” Lucifer declared, hands cupped over his mouth, voice like rolling thunder.In the crowd gathered around him, several angels gasped. Some manifested pearls for the sole purpose of clutching them. If the Almighty had heard, She did not grace him with an answer.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	the fall as nothing more than an expanded tumblr textpost

It was a slow day in Heaven, inasmuch as there were days in a place that didn’t require such a measurement of time, inasmuch as it could be slow with the seeds of dissent beginning to be sown. Lucifer stood in the Sphere closest to Herself’s throne room, wings spread wide and making a capital-s Scene. “Uncreative-namer-of-chargesiel!” he declared, hands cupped over his mouth, voice like rolling thunder.

In the crowd gathered around him, several angels gasped. Some manifested pearls for the sole purpose of clutching them. If the Almighty had heard, She did not grace him with an answer.

Angels from every Choir gave each other nervous glances. “Enforcer-of-insensible-rulesiel,” joined in another angel, bravely and supremely ill-advisedly.

“Does-not-lend-assistance-to-the-recordkeepersiel,” added the angel who would fall to become Dagon.

There was a cough, barely concealing a snort of laughter, and the rebellious angels stopped to turn towards the one who would become known as Crawly. The angel, caught under the attention, began to shuffle his feet. “Er.” He looked around and said, “Doesn’t-answer-my-questionsiel?”

It became quiet. Soon-to-be-Crawly barely suppressed a wince and resolved to track down whoever conjured the cicadas, because that was just unnecessary when he had embarrassed himself in front of the _Morningstar._

“Point-outer-of-honestly-bad-jokes, the angel,” called out Samael, clearly misunderstanding what Lucifer had been going for but wanting to join in on the fun nonetheless. Soon-to-be-Crawly was just grateful to get the multitudes of eyes off himself. Samael picked up steam, still thoroughly misunderstanding but enthusiastic enough to make up for it. “Samael, the angel of not-knowing-why-we-need-Humans!”

Gradually, more and more angels contributed to the din, Seraph and Throne and Virtue alike. “Doesn’t-know-why-platypuses- _are,_ the angel!” “Anabiel, the angel of not-knowing-what-the-Plan-is!” “Wondering-why-are-our-swords-on-fire the angel!” “A-better-fit-for-archangel-than-Gabriel the angel!” “ _Do-not-question-the-decisionsiel!”_ “Gabriel-doesn’t-know-how-this-works, the angel!” “ _Neither do youiel!”_ “Ariel, the angel of wanting Aziraphale to join in the fun!” “Please-leave-me-out-of-this, the angel.”

Even someone with an infinite well of patience would find it running dry at this mess. The Almighty sighed and strong breeze swept through, making sure to flutter past the wings of every angel present as the Lord made Her displeasure known. The angels went quiet.

Her voice reverberated throughout the halls of Heaven. There was a shift in the air that conveyed a narrowing of eyes. “ **YOU-WILL-FACE-THE-CONSEQUENCES-OF-YOUR-ACTIONS...** ” there was a sudden pressure upon the ranks of Heaven. “ _…_ ** _THE ANGEL_** _.”_

**Author's Note:**

> the clown-names textpost wouldnt let me sleep


End file.
